Diddy Couldn’t Get 1,000 Bottles Of Baby Oil From Costco

Big-box warehouse chain Costco wants nothing to do with a report connecting it to beleaguered mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs, releasing a statement denying that he made his bulk baby oil purchase at its stores. After Diddy’s attorney Marc Agnifilo argued in a press conference that Diddy purchased the unseemly amount of lubricant at Costco for threesomes, rather than the infamous “freakoffs” that have been central to the government’s sex trafficking case against him.

However, according to TMZ, a spokesperson for the company issued a statement denying such a thing would even be possible, as none of its 614 warehouses even carries baby oil, let alone in such massive quantities. TMZ also investigated direct competitor Sam’s Club and even checked for similar products that might explain the mention of baby oil in the feds’ indictment, but there were no other products similar to what was described in the documents. With no stores selling baby oil in bulk, the mystery of the origin of Diddy’s impressive (and gross) collection remains unclear.

What is clear, however, is that corporate entities are understandably uneager to be associated with the producer after he spent the year being sued by 11 separate plaintiffs for sexual misconduct, then arrested and charged with racketeering and sex trafficking.